My Granny...five years later

Tomorrow is going to be 5 years since I lost my Granny.  Even though I know that the anniversary is coming, it always seems to take me by surprise when it actually gets here.  Every year, I feel a little different.  The first year, I was still struggling with the fact that she was gone, and it was terribly hard.  The next year, I find myself being happy by thinking of her and all the wonderful times we had together.  Another year, I might have a really hard time with it again.  Grief is a work-in-progress I have learned and seems to constantly be changing.  All I have thought about today is what thoughts were on her mind before she died...

Granny - 5 years ago today is the last full day of your life...I wonder if you knew that it was your last full day?  I wonder if you knew that you were going to your Heavenly home so soon?  When you couldn't speak anymore, I wonder what was on your mind...When we talked to you, I hope that you could hear us.  When I played the CD of hymns and bluegrass/gospel music, I hope you heard it.  When I wasn't able to be there with you and hold your hand at the end, I hope you knew that my heart was with you.  When you took your last breath and left this world, I know that Heaven rejoiced when you got HOME.   

So many things that I wonder about...my heart still aches for the wonderful woman that she was...I miss the letters and cards that she used to send...I miss the Godly wisdom and advice that she was able to give.  I miss the way she'd bob along to her favorite Elvis songs and sing...I miss her lead foot in the car and how she would tell us, "You don't have to worry about Granny, Granny knows what she's doing."  I miss the sound of her laugh...I miss the feel of her arthritis-ridden hand in mind at church...I miss her singing...I miss her fussing at Grandad and keeping him in line (or at least trying to).  I miss her referring to my brother as "Little Jason."    I miss her talking about Flossie Naylor's "little dog."  I miss the dedication that she had to her family, her faith, her friends.  I miss hearing her say, "Adam was such a good baby."  

My dear Granny, you are gone, but you are most certainly NOT forgotten.  Love you forever...

Granny on her last birthday...so thankful to have had her in my life!