Ever since Leah was little, she has been on the quiet & shy side. Never one to quickly warm up to strangers. Ever since she was little, I have always felt like I have had to defend that fact. People acted as if there were something wrong with her, that she was unsocial, etc, because of it. I have finally gotten tired of that and have decided to write a blog about it.
My Leah is a great kid, she does well in school, she has friends, she can sing good, and she loves her family and animals. Is she super outgoing? No. Is she open to talking about sensitive matters? No. She doesn't like to be put on the spot, she doesn't like to be the center of attention when we are out, she isn't one that is going to voluntarily give you information unless you ask for it. She is an observer, she doesn't really relate to people who are overly friendly or very outgoing. I think that she sometimes gets overwhelmed or intimidated by them.
This past week of Bible School has really showed me how much of an introvert she really is...and you know what, THAT'S FINE! During one of our car rides to the store, Logan was talking about the people in his Bible School class. Leah asked him what their names were and he didn't know...(although he did know what color shirts they had on - LOL). She said that she knew everybody's name in her class. I told her that was because she was a lot like me and her Dad in the fact that she's quiet and likes to observe and take it all in instead of being right in the midst of everything like Logan does. I have tried to talk to her this week, about different things, but she totally shuts down. Does it bother me? Yes! I WANT to have a great and open relationship with her, I want her to be able to talk to me if she needs to. However, I am learning that I have to respect the fact that conversations like that make her uncomfortable and she acts standoffish as a way of coping with the uncomfortable feeling. I get it. I have been there. In a sense, I am still there.
I know that most of you know me and know that I love to talk...that is true. I do! I am very social, with most people. However, even now, at 34, I am easily intimidated by people, especially if I don't know them well, or think that I don't have a lot of intelligent things to contribute to the conversation. I have never met Brad's coworkers because the thought of it totally intimidates me. Leah has a lot of me and Brad in her. Brad is the same way. Is there anything wrong with it? Not at all. Not everyone is super outgoing and social. My problem is that I am tired of people acting like it is a bad thing that my child is the way she is. She's not going to be the child in class who raises her hand all the time. I have observed her in some situations where she's really wanted to do something but is too intimidated by more aggressive and out going children and she's not spoken up for herself. I have wondered, however, how such a quiet and shy child can sing a solo in the talent show at school and have come to the conclusion that she's comfortable there. She's comfortable among her peers and her music teacher. As long as she's in her comfort zone, she's good.
All children are different, my two are super different, but they are both equally special, equally intelligent, and equally loved. I just wish that other people in the world realized that having a personality like Leah's doesn't make her any different than anyone else, nor does it make me a bad mom. I know that, in time, she will grow up and come out of it a little bit...until then, I hope to be more understanding of the personality that she has and respect who she is. My introvert and my extrovert...My Leah and my Logan. I love them both so much!!!
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